SURVIVAL TIP #21
Survival Tip #21 – A Rookie Move
“Holding your drink while getting a lap dance is a rookie move. Not only is spillage a factor, but you restrict one of your hands.”
- The Gentleman
Our Favorite Tips by The Gentleman
Tip #54: A seasoned veteran removes his belt before a lap dance, a real pro does it like Indiana Jones pulling out his whip.
Tip #115: If you forget a dancer’s name, I’d go with Jade. Every club has a girl named Jade.
Tip #49: Putting your feet up on the stage is the equivalent of yelling “Hey, I’m the biggest d-bag in the club!”
Tip #68: If you try to tickle a stripper, you cannot hold her responsible for the injuries you’re about to sustain.
Tip #59: If your friend meets you at the club wearing a tank top, start verbally shaming him in front of others to save face.
Tip #84: Requesting the ‘Selfie’ song is the one and only way to make a strip club bouncer cry.
Tip #25: Getting a lap dance in front of your friends is only acceptable on your birthday or during your bachelor party, otherwise it’s just weird.
Tip #142: If the DJ announces that he’s running a $5 monthly dance special called Cinco de Marcho… leave the club.”
Tip #17: If a dancer has a dolphin tattooed on her ankle, skip the lap dance. If she has a dolphin tramp stamp tattoo, get a dance immediately.
Tip #130: When talking about your friend to a dancer, only share the following information… he makes a lot of money, he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and yes it really is his birthday, whether or not any of this is true is irrelevant.
Tip #23: If a stripper starts talking about her boyfriend, pretend like you’re going to vomit on your shoes, and she’ll walk away.
Tip #31: Strippers named after spices, like Jasmine, Ginger, or Cinnamon, will either give you the best or worst lap dance of your life, there is no in between.
Tip #63: If you pay for your groceries by making it rain on the checkout girl, you may want to take a break from the strip club for a few days.
Tip #52: Measure the quality of the strip club by how hard it is to find the bathroom. If it’s a 15 minute expedition through crowds, rooms, and stairways… the club is good. If you find it immediately because it’s right next to the stage, the club is no good.
Tip #144: When bringing girls with you to the strip club, there’s a 65% chance one of the girls will be reprimanded for being to hands-y.
Tip #33: If you’re in the club and your friend turns to you and says “Man, the music’s loud in here!” turn to him and say, “Yea, I know, you’re in a strip club.”
Tip #99: If all of a sudden your girlfriend says… “Today I learned how to say boobies in Japanese” … she started stripping.
Tip #125: You will not be the first or last guy to tell the bartender she is the hottest girl in the club, use a different pick up line.
Tip #42: Bachelorette parties in a strip club will average a loud “Woo Hoo” every 41 seconds. You can’t stop it, so just deal with it, and try to make out with one of them.
Tip #9: I know the dancers are letting the female customers grope them, but you’re still not allowed to. I know, life is cruel.
Tip #45: No man wants to tip the bathroom attendant, but he works in a bathroom and has free gum, so c’mon.
Tip #106: If you have to pay the cover charge with a credit card, you’re clearly unprepared for the strip club.
Tip #58: Don’t harass the DJ to play your favorite 80′s song, unless it’s Hall & Oates, everybody secretly likes those guys.
Tip #28: Every man is permitted and required one high five per strip club visit, no more, no less.
Tip #112: In a strip club, the female customers are allowed to dance to the music, you’re not. Although head bobbing is acceptable.
Tip #82: Wearing sunglasses inside a strip club is like wearing sneakers in the pool, nobody looks cool doing it.
Orphaned on the doorstep of a strip club when he was born, the man simply known as “The Gentleman” was raised by strippers. While other kids were in school learning how many rings were around Saturn, “The Gentleman” was being educated in the etiquette of adult entertainment. He has written hundreds of what he calls, “Survival Tips” in the hopes that others use them as a way to better their strip club experience. Called “A Nightlife Genius” by thousands of highly respected intellectuals, we felt it necessary to share this brilliant man’s formula for the ultimate club experience.
Read more at The Gentlemens Review
Centerfold Strips Entertainment